– Still in hell.
Another year has come and gone. Still, here I sit. I have begun to understand some things, here in my prison. I see now what my adopted family did to me. I see my faults. I see how and when I was crushed to the point where I needed a helping hand that did not […]
I’ve been experiencing a metamorphosis. A very positive one that really does make me feel a sudden enlightenment. Things were stagnant for so long and a little over a year ago my world as I knew it, collapsed. I spiraled into a dark and frightening descent, feeling broken, damaged beyond anything I ever experienced before. […]
Earlier tonight I was awakened. Let’s see if I fall back to sleep. I hope this is a new chapter.
Today is, for me, yet another one of those days where getting up and moving about is a tremendous struggle. I think I’m hungry but feeding myself seems to require too much effort. As does dressing, washing, and brushing my tangled hair. He’s gone off to work, hours ago actually, and it usually takes me […]
It’s quite rich how a consistent liar gets irritable when you don’t believe them. At times, I really have to hold back laughter while watching a tantrum that is just short of them stomping their feet, as they exclaim “No matter what I say it won’t change anything!”. Well that, my darling, is your own […]
I have mostly forgotten what seemed like a nightmare. Those feelings, the wrenching pain, the shock, the sorrow, that night he said he had been having an affair. My world as I knew it collapsed entirely. It’s funny, after every terrible thing I have ever been through that is what did it. A […]
I know I am far from the illusory “perfect”. Mind you, in a way I think I am perfect, just like I think you are perfect. That is to say, I don’t think we are flawed or bad. I think we’re just human, a soul encased in an animal shell, and for what we are, […]
I used to be hurt. Hurt that he lied. Hurt that he faked going to work while he spent hours with her. Later I realized she was easy, available, and could have been anyone. In fact I quite think years ago I was her. Not in any particular way, but the deer caught in headlights […]
I don’t get sick often. Not because I’m in extraordinary good health but I’m careful. In addition, I don’t go out much, for multiple reasons. For years the main reason was the depression I developed, paired with social anxiety. The lesser reason being there isn’t much to do where I live to tempt one. I […]